Fear is a very powerful tool that can be used to manipulate people. That’s one of the reasons why you see it used by so many different cults. “The End is Near!!! Only those in our special little club will be saved!!!”
What you’re feeling is part of a normal process. How many years did you attend indoctrination sessions at the Kingdom Hall? How many years have you been surrounded by other people who have also been indoctrinated into the JW belief system? It takes time to undue that kind of “programming”. If you had been raised as a Moonie, Scientologist, Amish or Mormon you would be going through the same thought process right now. In the back of your mind you would be wondering what if the Moonies, Scientologists, Amish or Mormons are “right”.